[fuck me ray bradbury; rod serling, heinlein, baker, love you. picture if you will an author, writing for his very life. there's a signpost up ahead, the next stop - the twilight zone].
Yes, but where? Your characters in the story must show change or the writing has not done its job [the clearest example that hops into my forebrain every time is Anthony Burgess's most famous and financially successful work, A Clockwork Orange. The final chapter was completely excised from the book for decades. The book ends where the film does: "I was cured, all right."
What you don't see is Our Humble Narrator - Alexander The Large - sitting once again drinking at the local public house, what's it going to be then, eh? dressed in the height of fashion but aware that the younger, leaner wolves are circling, and more in touch with the height of fashion and life - that is to say, youth. In his hands is a picture of a baby with milk all over its face and he is stirred by the image and the want for something better, something else, something good and right.
His character has grown and changed, and we the reader can see this with the final chapter set in place where Mssr. Burgess originally intended.
Without it, Alex is vindicated from his many crimes of horrorshow ultra violence [a nozh scrap any time you say... I actually said that to someone who, to my recollection - for good or ill - did not speak Nasdat]. He will be given a cushy no-show job, the government will buy him a house and provide moloko, women, and song - turning a blind eye to his psychopathic recreation. Alex is bad. We know this. Alex wins.
Without the final chapter, we do not have an anti-hero, which is to say, a fictional martyr who somehow was not (and cannot) be changed or killed. It's fascinating when you think about it.
and b.) Where have my characters changed, and how? It's a serious question - I am curious if you will answer it.
Traditionally yes, I agree with you that plot and stereotypical character arc is associated with journey. However a stream of consciousness poem that simply demonstrates musings, philosophical contemplations or even just waves of emotions/experiences is a journey as well.
In the many literature traditions, we tend to associate journey with a “hero’s journey” as articulated by Joseph Campbell, as you have above. We see journey as an experience of change. However in many other forms and genres of literature, change is not required. Think of stories written by James Joyce or my favourite Virginia Woolf, their stories are often very “plot-light” and focus more on the senses around them that do not necessitate change in the character, but an experience of emotions, events, and tangential thoughts.
In summary: You took us through a journey of tangent thoughts and emotions.
From a Carole Ann, this story drew me in and wouldn’t let me go. Dystopic, frightening, darkly humorous, prophetic, mind-blowing! I’m reading this again!
I was reading before I wrote, and then I was just reading and sucked into it. Lovely and haunting. I really dig vignettes that have a lack of clarity about things. They have a dreamscape feeling.
this comment I hold very close to my heart and my mind;
Every man if he is lucky will have more than one father; usually diametrically opposed opposites. I have had more than three at this point in time. Personal Emotional Script [PES] is a play on a phrase taught me by an older man I looked up to and respected before I had to beat him scarlet into the ground [over a woman, of course]. The phrase was PMA [Positive Mental Attitude] and I have carried it with me to this day [along with the pride and chest swell that comes with absolutely breaking a man in front of a crowd that outweighs you by a hundred pounds and has scars on his throat from others trying repeatedly to cut his throat with what could only be an exceptionally dull blade years past].
Oliver Stone touches on the two father issue repeatedly in his work Platoon, the main character as the child [O rejoice, in your youth - Ecclasticies /sp/, epigraph to the work]; Sergeant Barnes/Sergeant Elias, those two fathers, forged in war, as Oliver Stone had been, turning down his acceptance to Yale to enlist in the Vietnam War. It is a beautiful, awful account of that terrible conflict, and considered the first true telling of that time, sweeping the Oscars and breaking my father's heart, years after his own service.
Thank you, Ms. Kumbalek. Keep on. Learn from some of my babbling, if you can. You are appreciated.
I am happy you appreciate my-behind-the-scenes-retelling of the origins behind the piece. Remember, Sofia, Rule Number Infinite: the backstory of a poem should always be presented after said poem is read, discussed or asked about. Never say a damn thing before reading a poem to a group [and if a professor or professional organizer insists upon some introduction, let it be about how some bloke on the Internet [lchristopher - that's me, btw] told you that it was a infamia, and you refused to become infamous on so small a criminal charge and instead told the room that if the poem cannot speak for itself it was not truly a poem. Thus concludes the lesson. :))
Elegant....intelligent....puts my dystopia nightmares to shame....
You're sweet to say. I have a feeling our dystopian nightmares are about to overwhelm the realms of fiction. In the West, anyway.
Agreed
terrific, entrancing, start to finish
Wow - what a journey 👏👏
Yes, but where? Your characters in the story must show change or the writing has not done its job [the clearest example that hops into my forebrain every time is Anthony Burgess's most famous and financially successful work, A Clockwork Orange. The final chapter was completely excised from the book for decades. The book ends where the film does: "I was cured, all right."
What you don't see is Our Humble Narrator - Alexander The Large - sitting once again drinking at the local public house, what's it going to be then, eh? dressed in the height of fashion but aware that the younger, leaner wolves are circling, and more in touch with the height of fashion and life - that is to say, youth. In his hands is a picture of a baby with milk all over its face and he is stirred by the image and the want for something better, something else, something good and right.
His character has grown and changed, and we the reader can see this with the final chapter set in place where Mssr. Burgess originally intended.
Without it, Alex is vindicated from his many crimes of horrorshow ultra violence [a nozh scrap any time you say... I actually said that to someone who, to my recollection - for good or ill - did not speak Nasdat]. He will be given a cushy no-show job, the government will buy him a house and provide moloko, women, and song - turning a blind eye to his psychopathic recreation. Alex is bad. We know this. Alex wins.
Without the final chapter, we do not have an anti-hero, which is to say, a fictional martyr who somehow was not (and cannot) be changed or killed. It's fascinating when you think about it.
and b.) Where have my characters changed, and how? It's a serious question - I am curious if you will answer it.
all good things,
-LC.
Traditionally yes, I agree with you that plot and stereotypical character arc is associated with journey. However a stream of consciousness poem that simply demonstrates musings, philosophical contemplations or even just waves of emotions/experiences is a journey as well.
In the many literature traditions, we tend to associate journey with a “hero’s journey” as articulated by Joseph Campbell, as you have above. We see journey as an experience of change. However in many other forms and genres of literature, change is not required. Think of stories written by James Joyce or my favourite Virginia Woolf, their stories are often very “plot-light” and focus more on the senses around them that do not necessitate change in the character, but an experience of emotions, events, and tangential thoughts.
In summary: You took us through a journey of tangent thoughts and emotions.
From a Carole Ann, this story drew me in and wouldn’t let me go. Dystopic, frightening, darkly humorous, prophetic, mind-blowing! I’m reading this again!
I was reading before I wrote, and then I was just reading and sucked into it. Lovely and haunting. I really dig vignettes that have a lack of clarity about things. They have a dreamscape feeling.
There's always hope in darkness
I really really enjoyed this
this comment I hold very close to my heart and my mind;
Every man if he is lucky will have more than one father; usually diametrically opposed opposites. I have had more than three at this point in time. Personal Emotional Script [PES] is a play on a phrase taught me by an older man I looked up to and respected before I had to beat him scarlet into the ground [over a woman, of course]. The phrase was PMA [Positive Mental Attitude] and I have carried it with me to this day [along with the pride and chest swell that comes with absolutely breaking a man in front of a crowd that outweighs you by a hundred pounds and has scars on his throat from others trying repeatedly to cut his throat with what could only be an exceptionally dull blade years past].
Oliver Stone touches on the two father issue repeatedly in his work Platoon, the main character as the child [O rejoice, in your youth - Ecclasticies /sp/, epigraph to the work]; Sergeant Barnes/Sergeant Elias, those two fathers, forged in war, as Oliver Stone had been, turning down his acceptance to Yale to enlist in the Vietnam War. It is a beautiful, awful account of that terrible conflict, and considered the first true telling of that time, sweeping the Oscars and breaking my father's heart, years after his own service.
Thank you, Ms. Kumbalek. Keep on. Learn from some of my babbling, if you can. You are appreciated.
I am happy you appreciate my-behind-the-scenes-retelling of the origins behind the piece. Remember, Sofia, Rule Number Infinite: the backstory of a poem should always be presented after said poem is read, discussed or asked about. Never say a damn thing before reading a poem to a group [and if a professor or professional organizer insists upon some introduction, let it be about how some bloke on the Internet [lchristopher - that's me, btw] told you that it was a infamia, and you refused to become infamous on so small a criminal charge and instead told the room that if the poem cannot speak for itself it was not truly a poem. Thus concludes the lesson. :))
You are quite welcome. <4