37 Comments
User's avatar
Marie Chérie ❤️'s avatar

Terrifically enticing. Frenzied in the best way.

lchristopher's avatar

Thank you kindly, Miss. :)

Jason Brooker's avatar

Out of interest are you familiar with the song Behind the Green Door?

And what it's about?

My guess is you don't

But the title brought me here and the read was very entertaining even though it was not in any way what I thought it would be.

Richbee's avatar

Guy Mitchell sang green door. Must be on Spotify

Amy Vecchione's avatar

I would have liked your grandmother. Great scene. {by scene I mean you and your family in this scenario and not the film}

lchristopher's avatar

Her death still haunts me. Bless, Ames.

Kmacdawg's avatar

Amazing. While I’ve never had that much “color” to display, I sure can relate to the dagger eyes. Haha

Luna Kim Yeh's avatar

Just wanted to say: Great piece, and thanks so much for the sub.

lchristopher's avatar

Thank you kindly — and right back atcha. +1

David's avatar

I can't even open Substack anymore without tits popping out of the screen like a jump scare.

lchristopher's avatar

These tits were there first. **looks at date**

Demian Entrekin 🏴‍☠️'s avatar

That's the problem with those fucking high balls at Grandma's. You can't sleep worth a damn.

Tygre Merritt's avatar

"Light may be the absence of dark, but us paleface motherfuckers always manage to come off as a rather sinister bunch." Fucking-A Dude, that is brilliant.

lchristopher's avatar

**subscribes instantly**

Cael Lawenu's avatar

Wonderful piece. I feel i've just had a masterclass in writing with originality.

lchristopher's avatar

That means a lot coming from you. Thank you sincerely. +1

Cael Lawenu's avatar

Aw, you’re too kind. ❤️

Erichka's avatar

As a life-long Placebo fan I was ecstatic to see them mentioned !!!

Loved this — especially the bit at the beginning about your grandmother. Your prose has so much life to it.

lchristopher's avatar

As a life long Placebo fan whose one chance to see them in NYC during the Meds Tour dissolved without a word [though I still have the tickets somewhere], I'm right there with you. Sleeping with Ghosts pretty much soundtracked that period of my life. Such glorious work.

Erichka's avatar

YES! Sleeping With Ghosts is my favorite album by them. I had it on repeat during high school and even bought the physical CD and carried it with me around town in a portable CD player like a real goober!!

lchristopher's avatar

YES! I MAY EVEN REMEMBER GOOBERS LIKE YOU. [THEY WERE THE BEST!]

Brian Molko doing "Protege Moi" [or interviews in French speaking countries] in his fluent French always proves he is the absolute frontman/showman: he can do both in either language [English clearly bring the other], and flawlessly.

https://youtu.be/oT3kuslQ66k?si=efbPsXNV46NG350y

Rob True: Lord of Misrule's avatar

I enjoyed reading this, Christopher. I like your style.

Killing Zoe is a great film. Might have to watch again. Although I tried to find it recently and it ain't anywhere.

You ever seen Behind the Green Door? 70s porno. I got it on DVD. Somewhere.

Jennifer Haddock's avatar

A fun and twisty read! Lucky you to meet Jen Lawrence and make her curious about you. Nobody is a good line. Dying to know who D is but maybe I didn’t read deeply enough.

lchristopher's avatar

it’s definitely one of my more popular stories here on ye olde substack[e]. i certainly have a couple but don’t like coming off like a total starfucker, if you’ll please excuse my French.

“Nobody!” was the only line. I was the least important person in the room, if not the building. Starlets are fed a neverending chain of bullshit from the day they go through puberty. In such cases, I just take the bullets out of that particular gun. It makes things easier.

D is fairly well known; you’ll get it if you really put your thinking cap on. [But don’t give it away here, shhh, it’s a secret!]

I don’t know how lucky I was, just right-place-right-time sorta deal. It was a good story. That’s all that matters, really.

Thanks very much for your restacks, comments, and likes/support of my work. It’s nice to hear that I made someone smile or pass a quiet quarter-hour parsing over my turn of phrase. All good things. +1

Patrizia's avatar

This is quite excellent.

lchristopher's avatar

it's got all of your favorite things! gossip! the society page! christopher's total ineptitude at schmoozing and making cocktail party network connections!

i swear, Patrizia - somedays i truly believe i would have better luck if I drove a bulldozer into the studio/literary salon/theatre.

godspeed w. thanks. -LC

Lindsey Ulmer's avatar

That girl does not have fully developed breasts and resembles a pre-teen. I recommend using a different picture so you don’t look like an actual pedophile.

Just Kayla's avatar

Read voracious as I imagine it was written

User's avatar
Comment removed
Dec 13
Comment removed
lchristopher's avatar

Yes sir, yes sir three bags full.